Powerful Partnership is a unique Couples Therapy designed to help you and your partner work towards feeling more connected and understood. In the beginning relationships are exciting. We are showing our best side of ourselves to our potential future mate. It’s fun learning about each other and the natural chemistry which accompanies it makes the process even more natural. So how can we learn to keep this process alive and live in deeply connected relationships?
We can all experience difficulties in our relationships from time to time.
When we feel stuck, with conflicts, misunderstandings or other problems and can’t find a way out of this ourselves, then we need some help. Couples therapy gives you a safe and protected setting where you can explore your situation and find new ways of thinking about and resolving the problems you and your partner are experiencing.
Where does Love go wrong?
As a culture we are taught that ‘true love’ knows everything about each other. That finishing each others sentences is endearing. That we should get everything from our partner. They should be our lover, our friend our best friend. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a partnership – especially when not knowing about each other is one of the things that makes a relationship so exciting in the beginning. Our brains want to create short cuts and to predict what will happen, but this prediction is a relationship killer. Ideally, we don’t want our brains to have a set idea about how our partner may or not respond. Not knowing is key, not knowing contributes to keeping love alive and fresh. it’s what we don’t know about each other that is actually more important. This maintains a growth mindset rather than a set mindset. Within sessions, one of the things we may do together is learn how to achieve this. I use the extensively researched Gottman Relationship Assessment Tool, and associated relationship exercises, to help you both get back on track and feel more loved and connected.
Within the Gottman framework we delve into Friendship and Intimacy, Managing Conflict, Shared Meaning, Trust and Commitment and the Secrets to Great Sex.
How do we avoid Conflict?
Men and Women are adversary in nature. They are completely opposite. In the beginning this contrast is extremely attractive, it creates a polarity which creates sexual tension and excitement. But over time women start to think of men as hairy women and men think of women as less hairy men. One very important distinction is being single focus or diffuse focus. We think differently and process differently and have a completely different experience and understanding of the world. Arguments can leave us feeling like we don’t understand each other. The more we can understand each other, the less we feel that actions are personal attacks. There is a lot to learn about making relationships thrive and through our work together we work out what’s the elements look and feel like for you individually and then how to blend those together for a happy outcomes.
Are you ready to do the work?
Great relationships take work. We have to decide what makes the relationship work and keep doing those things. These needs looking at time and time again to make sure that it’s on track. We can culturally believe that if something is hard work then it must not be right. But all things in life that are worthwhile take time and effort. It can be helpful to see a relationship like a garden, it needs love, care and attention. You have to know how to treat it when external factors change, and you have to be prepared to reap what you sow.
When working with a couple we will meet for an introductory session to see how you are forming you separate realities. We also look at what you want to achieve. We may discuss reoccurring issues, but not to blame or shame, just to understand where they keep going wrong.
I design each programme based on your individual needs. I may work separately with each individual. Helping them to have a greater understanding of the relationship and why it isn’t working. This way of working allows you to see what your contribution is, and to work through anything that triggers you in the relationship. We may then look at couple sessions to help you both align and work on creating a shared relationship which is great for you both. The formulation of couple and individual sessions is dependent on each couple and what’s going on for them.
I am a great believer that our relationships are our greatest teachers. They provide a mirror for us to see where we are wounded and where we need to grow. Working together in this was allows more compassion, understanding and a commitment to a really powerful partnership.
Sarah Leonard Being Human
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Sarah Leonard
Availability
Online and in person sessions are available throughout the week. Some Saturday appointments are available but tend to be taken quickly.
Please contact me for further details.